Twin Peaks by Frost Mark

Author:Frost, Mark
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Flatiron Books
Published: 2017-10-30T00:00:00+00:00

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION

Field Office Criminal Investigative and Administrative Files

You’ll recall that when the dossier last dealt with Dr. Jacoby—the town’s freestylin’ New Age psychiatrist—he had just been informed by the Washington State medical board that, for his full twenty-four-hour diner menu of ethical code violations, his license to practice medicine had been summarily revoked. Awaiting judgment, Jacoby then repaired to his childhood home on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. Living off savings—and a tidy sum left to him by his recently departed brother Robert—he spent the next two years in Hanalei Bay, gone to ground, licking his wounds and searching for a way to reinvent himself.

While he could no longer legally hang up a shingle, the good doctor showed no inclination to abandon his well-trodden path dancing along the margins on the outer precincts of reality’s most radical possibilities. Jacoby threw himself into field studies with Hawaiian shamans and alternative medicines, which he chronicled in an early online blog, which we’d call it today. A substantial chunk of this content focused on the ways of the menehune, the folkloric “little people” of native South Sea Islander culture. Akin to similar mythologies in many other aboriginal traditions—leprechauns, pixies, elves, et al.—the menehune are usually depicted as mischievous nature spirits and master builders of various inexplicable engineering projects, usually involving stone and water. I’ll spare you most of the colorful details, Chief, but on more than one occasion Jacoby claims to have made contact with the little folk, who revealed to him that they’re not of earthly origin and that their mission here on earth is to help steer the “newer root race of human beings” away from our unfortunate genetic propensity for violence and self-destruction. Setting aside for a moment the efficacy of their “mission,” if we judge these wee folk solely on the degree to which they’ve succeeded in this regard, they’re running well below standards we apply to basic government work.

Jacoby also mentions a competing theory—more archaeology-based than mystical—that these little people may simply hail from an earlier race of smaller humanoid bipeds—as in “pygmies”—who settled the isolated island chain some eons before the migratory Polynesians showed up in their outriggers. He also offers that this doesn’t in any way rule out the possibility that the little people were alien in origin to begin with, putting us right back where we started.

(UFOs and “the grays” make a brief appearance here as well, which gave me the giggles one night, after two glasses of wine, when I found myself picturing them in grass skirts.)

Anyway, you get the drift. And at the least, I think this now gives us a reasonable working hypothesis for the basis of Jacoby’s enduring bond with his old friend Jerry Horne: killer weed. (To which I now feel compelled to reiterate that Jacoby lived in Hanalei Bay, first made famous as the home of Puff the Magic Dragon.)

As the Internet mushroomed, Jacoby’s blog gradually brought him back to some fraction of his previous 1960s notoriety,

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